So, I have been dealing with tons of things in my life: school, sleep deprivation, boys, etc. We know the drill. However, this time, I discovered something that has been plaguing me for the last year. This is something that I didn't pick up on until this last semester, and didn't fully comprehend how much it took over my thoughts until this semester, specifically the last few weeks.
I have diagnosed myself as having BDD, Body Dysmorphic Disorder. Now, I know it's a self-diagnosis, but it's pretty accurate. I see my body as my old overweight self, and many times, I get very negative thoughts about myself and my body. I feel that I can't eat certain foods, or if I do, I go to the gym to work it all off. It scares me when I think like this. My roomie told me how much it scared her too. I decided I was going to do something about it this time! Instead of waiting for it to pass (it comes and goes, but comes much more often than I would like it to), I decided to meet with my bishop and get a blessing.
My wonderful bishop, met with me and we sat and chatted about life. ( I was also given the assignment to be a frequent temple patron! SCORE) Anyway, we talked and he reminded me to turn to the Lord first, and place all of my heart and my trials in His hands. After all, the Savior did die for me, and He already went through these trials, He knows how to help me the best. After nodding yes, I will, (trying to keep tears from gushing out), I asked for a blessing.
My bishop lovingly placed his hands on my head, and blessed me. In my blessing, he blessed me with mental, physical and spiritual strength, reminding me that I am a beautiful daughter of God and am already making all the right decisions, but to continue going forth with my faith. Of course, I cried my eyes out, because the spirit was SO strong.
Not only am I praying for strength, but if I don't feel like I can do it on my own, I was advised to see a counselor, like the ones at school. I may have to, but for this week, I am seeing how much I can rely on the Lord, because, I want to see if I can do it with His help. He loves me. He will always lift me up and carry me when I am in a raging river.
Have a good day friends.
Peace, Love, Happiness
XOXOX
3 comments:
I'm so glad you were so brave to talk to your bishop. I wish more of us would admit when we are being down on ourselves and try to put a quick end to it. It's crazy how girls get down on ourselves, and fail to see what we truly are: beautiful.
It seems impossible for you to be anything but lovely (and I don't just throw that sacred word around) to look at. You're such a lovely girl inside and out. Dear sweet amber, you're the rose in my garden. I miss you. And dance. And especially you plus dance. Have the best day, lady.
Amber! You are gorgeous...always have been, always will be! :-) Heavenly Father gave you a strong, healthy, beautiful body! Us girls are just so hard on ourselves...thank you for inspiring me to be grateful for the body that I have and not be so hard on myself. Love you!!!
dear pretty girl,
you are lovey, and beautiful. and you have a spirit filled with chariaty and joy that brings happiness into everyone around you.
xoxo
chellyyy
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